TheResilientLotus

I have been having random spouts of anxiety today. My situation has been replaying in my mind out of nowhere. I have also had irritability rear its head from time to time over the last 24 hours. I haven’t progressed as much as I originally thought. I must have been subconsciously harboring some things.

My husband is not usually the type to notice when I am in a state of depression. I expressed it the other day because he is oblivious most of the time, bless his heart. After I brought it to his attention, he stepped in and tried his best to comfort me. I don’t really know how to accept it right now, though. But I cannot help but wonder, Does that mean I have become too good at pretending? Surviving? 

Functional depression is intense. Consider how strong we must be to operate day to day when we are falling apart on the inside. Things still have to be done, bills still need to be paid, and families still need to be tended to. Considering all we are juggling, there’s so surprise that we can unravel from time to time.

What do you do to fix this? Personally, I was attending a kickboxing class which helped tremendously. But my finances halted that. The weather has been so dreary and cold so my motivation for a run or walk has diminished. I do hope to regain that motivation as the weather warms up. I need an outlet asap before I lose myself in the whirlwind of feelings and uncertainty.